Love & Fear

“For those who reject Allah there is a terrible Penalty…” (surah 35:7)

“Fight those who neither believe in Allah nor the last day, who do not forbid what Allah and His Messenger have forbidden, and do not embrace [Islam] the religion of truth…(surah 9:29)


This week I realized how terrifying those verses are….especially if you’re a Muslim child who is trying to figure out how Islam compares to the beliefs of your classmates. It’s two weeks before Easter, and Dana* is snuggled into my lap. She’s the daughter of a Moroccan woman, and her large dark eyes and curly black hair are simply beautiful. While her mother attends the English classes offered by my church, Dana and other children play with me and I help them do their homework. Usually we stay downstairs while the adults are in classes, but this week the teachers announce a special treat: everybody gets to go upstairs for desert and a short Easter service.

The pastor is at the front of the room, and Dana listens as he begins to share the Gospel story. When he tells of the crown of thorns placed on Christ’s head, and the nails driven through his hands and feet, Dana stiffens. The pastor continues, recounting Christ’s crucifixion and burial. She whips her head around and whispers fiercely in my ear, “This isn’t the real story. Jesus did NOT die.” When the pastor, his face alight with joy, tells of Jesus walking out of the tomb, Dana snorts. “This is not true. Jesus did not die.” I quickly whisper back that as soon as the pastor finishes, we’ll go out to the hallway and she can tell me the real story.

But first, the pastor invites everyone to bow their head as he prays. Most of the adults, from places like El Salvador or Mexico, are nominal Roman Catholics who are more interested in learning English than learning about Jesus, but they politely bow their heads. I bow mine as well, and catch a look of disdain from Dana. She then leans almost out of my lap toward her mother, who is sitting several rows back. Her expression is angry. “No! No!” she whispers to her mother, accompanying her words with vehement hand motions indicating that her mother MUST NOT pray.

I know that, according to the Qur'an, Jesus was neither killed nor crucified (surah 4:157-158). Instead, Allah recalled Jesus and raised him up (3:55). So a few moments later, I ask Dana if she wants to tell me the “real” story about Jesus. “I believe that Jesus was God’s precious son, and the Jesus came and died and rose again just like the pastor said. But I want to hear what you believe, and why you believe it.” She looks at me for a second and nods, but says she needs to talk to her mom first. She trots across the room to her mother, and is back a few seconds later. “My mother says I cannot tell you,” she says shyly, slightly puzzled. I look down at Dana, a tiny fourth grader who doesn’t interact very well with the other kids, and say, “It’s okay, Dana, I know you pray to Allah. I know you’re a Muslim. You don’t have to worry.”

Her entire face changes to one of intense fear. “How do you know that? Who told you?” I reminded her of a past incident where she had said something. “No, that didn’t happen. I didn’t tell you!”

I still don’t understand why Dana was so frightened about me finding out she is a Muslim, unless her mother is attending the class at the church without her husband’s permission, but my heart aches for her.

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them…” Matthew 19:14

*name has been changed